All the friends
I am not good at making friends anymore ..or at least I have not yet figured out how. I used to be great at making friends because it was easy (although I was previously labeled as “standoffish ..). For the first 22 years of my life the formula stayed the same: go to school/extra curricular activities and make friends. Figure out who you vibe with and literally just keep talking to those people. I always made friends easily in school (minus high school but chile that is a blog for another time), but without the crutch of an organized setting, ya girl is lost okay. Lost.
My friendships tended to start with the people that I can complain to about whatever situation we’re in. Class: “ugh why is this professor giving so much work on the first day, has he heard of syllabus week or..” Dining hall: “so is this food for people? ..” Annoying work conference: **catches the eye of the person also rolling their eyes at the dreadful, “sit next to someone you don’t know.” I’m sure you’ve picked up on this, but yes, I can be a complainer. At first I tried to change it, but now I’ve just figured out how to turn a complaint into dark humor so sometimes people just think i’m being funny, but really i’m just complaining. Don’t hate ..and don’t try to steal my strategy.
Without the organized nature of school, I have no idea how to go about making friends now, I just don’t. Making friends at work is generally a nonstarter for me. I know people feel differently about this, but I do not look to make friends at work. It’s happened (once, hey girl if you’re reading this, you know who you are..) but I do not make it a point to seek it out because the potential for messy drama is too high. If I am getting paid to work with you, I don’t want to run the risk of us falling out and now we still have to work together. Too weird. You spend too much time at work to have personal drama with people, so I try to just keep it professional.
I am in school, but grad school is just different than undergrad, plus I am not in a cohort model program, so everyone takes classes at their own pace. So without school and work, where does that leave room to make friends? I am not one to take extra cooking classes or language classes or pottery. That’s just not my jam. So where does the friendship magic happen?
This is important to me right now because I live in a state that I am not from. In Jan. it will make 3 years since I’ve lived in the Twin Cities. I have an amazing support system of frineds all over the country (and sometimes the world depending on where they are galavanting off to that given month/year), but they’re not physically HERE. So while I have very long phone conversations a lot, I am missing the in person connections.
So help ya girl out, where do YOU go to make friends as an adult?
Maya Blogs Again 